Ned coughs up a lung
by mscreativity
Summary: It had all started because of a neighbor named Ned Flanders. I stand by what Homer Simpson says about him. Stupid Flanders! Story has been finally updated!
1. chapter 1

The Simpsons

Ned Flanders stood in front of his house, taking a nice big breath of fresh morning air, or at least that is what he thought. He started coughing terribly out in the lawn, his face turning red. Marge Simpson was outside too, and came running over when she saw Ned was having troubles. "Ned! Ned!" she called hysterically, trying to hit his back so he would stop.

After awhile, Marge dialed 911, not really knowing what else to do. There were similar accidents happening lately in Springfield, people coughing up a storm, and perhaps even dying because they couldn't breath anymore.

An ambulance soon came up to Ned's house, and the medics took him to the hospital, sirens going, flashes of blue and red showing, worrying witnesses. "I hope he's alright," Marge thought, and went inside to tell her family the news, but she remembered they were at the bowling alley.

She hopped in her car, and drove there. She arrived, finding her family at lane 4.

"Oh no!" Lisa and Bart exclaimed, much with concern. Homer tried his best to act worried, but it wasn't a good one. Marge frowned seeing this, and they went to the hospital to visit Ned.


	2. chapter 2

I do not own any of these characters. Thank you to all who have R&R, and please continue, because I need to know how I'm progressing on this story. Thanks! 

Chapter 2

The Simpsons arrived in the main lobby of the hospital, Marge about to ask the receptionist what room Ned was in, but kept hearing a series of doh's behind her. The family looked back, seeing Homer stuck in the revolving door. He kept trying to get in the main lobby, but kept missing it.

"Homer, come on!" Marge ordered, looking cross.

"I'm trying, I'm trying!" he protested, a d'oh following.

Finally, after getting him out and getting the room number of Ned Flanders, they appeared in Ned's room. The ill neighbor laid in bed, many wires and breathing tubes attached to him, a steady beeping being heard from one of the machines.

"Why can't I just wait in the lobby?" Marge's husband whined. He didn't want to visit "stupid Ned Flanders" and was hungry, knowing there was a snack machine in the lobby. "I'm also hungry!" he added, and started to drool, thinking of the various snacks

"No! Besides, you just had a whole container of ice cream and duff beer before we left!" Marge scolded, wagging a finger at him.

"Ohhh…" Homer moaned, and looked down at his feet.

Soon, Ned woke up, feeling very groggy, and his chest hurt.

"Hi Ned," Marge greeted. "We're you're neighbors, visiting you," she explained, sure that Ned had no clue of what was going on right now

"Hi," he said softly. He was about to say something else, but couldn't because Dr. Hibburt walked in the room.

"Hello Ned," he greeted. "I see you're not feeling well. That is because you have a bad lung from all the coughing you did," he explained. "the surgery went well, as you are one lung short for now," he said, giving a chuckle at the end.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting that," Ned commented, looking worried.

"So, I was wondering if you knew anyone that would like to donate one," he continued, looking at Ned.

"Well, there is someone. Someone who's my neighbor, and is a great one," Ned started, looking at the Simpsons. Homer smiled contently, thinking that was probably Marge. "Even though he may listen to football games during church, or try and steal money from the collection basket, he's still great, and God will always forgive him," he finished, looking at Homer.

"D'oh!" he said.

"Why me?" he asked Ned.

"Because you're a great neighor, and you already donated a kidney, so how about a lung?" he asked, giving a small smile.

"Do I have to?" he whined.

"I'm afraid you have no choice," Dr. Hibburt said, a group of surgeons taking Homer away to the operating room.


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3

Homer was not prepared for this and he was very scared as the surgeons took him into the room. The bright light above him hurt his eyes. Then, he fell asleep. The surgeons began.

An hour crept by as surgeons wiped the sweat off of their foreheads and brow.

"Man, how much fat does this patient have?" one surgeon asked, still trying to get to homer's lungs.

"I don't know," another answered "Crap! There goes my fourth pair of scissors!" he exclaimed watching the pair sink into Homer's fat.

Finally after 7 hours, Homer was wheeled out and put in the recovering room. He woke up after 3 more hours of sleeping.

"Homie you're okay!" Marge exclaimed giving her husband a hug, the two children doing the same.

"Yeah," he said, and then who else could it be but Ned Flanders in the same room.

"Hey Homer," he said, sitting up in his bed, giving a wave. Dr. Hibbirt soon walked in to update everyone.

"Hello you two. Ned, you seem to be doing fine, and Homer, you seem to be pretty fine as well. You had a steel lung put in," he explained to him. Homer only coughed, a piece of steel flying out, and landing on the bed. He looked down, seeing other pieces as well.

"Yeah…." He said, and then looked back up at Dr. Hibbirt.

"Well, anyways, you may both go home now," he said.

"Wait, how much is this going to cost?" asked Marge worriedly.

"Well, for Ned, $560, and for Homer, $620," he said, and then left.

"Oh no! Homie, we don't have enough money," she said to him.

"Oh…." He said, remembering he spent it all on a treadmill, soon throwing it out the next day, as it was way to much work…and food…that was not thrown out of course.

"Well, what are we going to do?" Marge asked him, still having no clue why all the money saved up for these kind of situations was gone. Homer only shrugged though, and they both headed home (dropping Ned at his house first) to find out how they were going to pay for this.


	4. chapter 4

I don't own any of these characters. Please guys, keep R&R! I appreciate all who have done so throughout the chapters of my story.

Chapter 4

The Simpsons walked into their house, all seating themselves at the kitchen table. "Oh, what are we going to do?" Marge asked worriedly, still wondering how they had no money.

"How about we just ask people around the neighborhood?' Bart suggested.

Homer rolled his eyes. "Pfft, yeah right! After all the trouble we caused last week? Forget it!" he said, and a flashback came into his mind.

The family was going out for a drive for Krusty Burger, and Homer ran into Wolfcastle's car, making him angry. Then Homer drove recklessly down the roads, having innocent pedestrians ran over and innocent driver's cars smashed. Wolfcastle is still trying to get their address so he could beat Homer into oblivion.

"Well, then we could do something good for the neighborhood to apologize, and then perhaps that would work," Lisa piped up.

"Hmm…" Homer said, putting on his thinking act. "But what nice things could we do?" he asked.

"Well, we could do community service," the 8 year old said.

"No way! I am not doing community service," Homer protested.

"Oh come on Homie, it's not that bad," Marge said.

"Well, okay, as long as it doesn't involve giving the stupid meals on wheels to the old," he said, giving a shudder at the end.

"Hey! I don't want to do any service!" Bart argued, not really wanting to do anything.

"Bart! You're going to do it anyways!" Marge said. Bart only gave a moan, and sat back in his chair, thinking how cruel his parents were.

Later that day….

The family walk into a local animal shelter, thinking they could do some service there. A guy of 28 was found, just finishing brushing a longhaired cat.

"Hello, we're the Simpsons, and we wondered if we could help," Marge introduced.

"Oh yes, you called earlier. Of course," the man said, giving a smile at the end.

The family soon found themselves working to the bone. They took care of the animals and cleaned their cages. It was a lot of work, (including getting that menacing dog off of Homer's arm) but they finally finished.

"Okay, we're done," Marge, said to the man they met earlier. He was found at the front of the shelter, reading a newspaper. He looked at them, and gave a small nod.

"Okay," he said, and then went back to reading his newspaper.

"Well…aren't you going to give us some money??" Homer asked with impatience.

The man looked up at them, shocked that Homer asked that, and shook his head. "This is community service, meaning it's volunteering. You don't do this for money," he explained.

Homer moaned, and looked at the man angrily. "Listen here buddy! We worked our fingers to the bone, and I think we deserve some money!" he ordered.

"I'm sorry, this was for volunteers!" the man explained.

Homer clenched his fist, and said through clenched teeth. "We worked hard, and I think you should give us some money."

The man shook his head again. He soon started backing up, Homer heading towards him. "I'll get that money somehow," Homer said.

"No Homer, no!" Marge scolded, not wanting a lawsuit. It was too late though. Homer punched the guy in the nose, and then the stomach, and then walked out. The family hesitantly followed, silence was in the car the whole ride home.

"You still didn't get that money," Bart reminded Homer.

"Doh!" he said, turning the car around and heading back to the shelter. He walked back in, seeing the man still in great pain. He chuckled, going to the cash register and taking the whole thing. Though this was community service, the shelter still sold some animal accessories.

He fled back to the car, and sped down the road, soon arriving home. "Homer, I think you should give that back," Marge said.

"Well, okay, I can give the register…but no money!" he decided.

"Hmmm…" was only Marge's answer, her arms crossed.

Okay, I do admit, this wasn't my best, and it didn't have much humor, but the next chapter I hope will fall into place better, and everything shall flow nicer…Thanks all for reading, and don't forget to review.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

And so after returning the register, and money unwantedly, the Simpsons sat at the kitchen table once again bankrupt and with no ideas.

"Well, we could all get jobs...they won't be high paying, but it could work," she suggested. Everyone glared at her, even the cat and dog. Sighing, Lisa fell quiet and

started tracing her finger on the table.

"I know! How about Homer enter's a marathon?" Bart suggested excitedly, jumping up. "He could lose weight and win a buttload of money...referring to his

butt size of course," he sniggered.

"Hey! Take that back boy!" Homer retorted, starting to strangle him. Choking, the boy was finally pulled apart with Marge's and Lisa's help.

"No fighting!" Marge yelled, quite angry.

"We could open a buisness," Lisa suggested. No one replied to that, and it seemed she wasn't heard. "We could open a buisness," she said again, a little

louder. Once again, the plan failed. The small girl jumped on the table. "I know! We could open a buisness!" she exclaimed. Unfortunately, no one was even in the

kitchen this time. "Hey, where did everyone go?" she asked, but blushed from embarrassment. She then spotted her family in the family room, watching TV.

Muttering, she entered and said for the fifth time, "We could open a buisness!" but was only deafened by Homer's laughter.

"Look at that funny porterican man! He's on fire!" He chuckled. Bart, tired of hearing Lisa trying to suggest the idea, stood in front of the TV. Ignoring,

Homer's protest, he stood akimbo.

"How about we open a buisness?" he asked brightly.

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Marge exclaimed, smiling.

"Uh, sure! How about a chocolate factory? Then we could hire those funny looking men...what are they called?"

"Oompa Loompas?" Lisa asked, but understood she was quite invisible at this point.

"Oompa Loompas?" Bart repeated.

"Yeah! Hehe!" Homer giggled.

"Uh, those aren't real Homie," Marge said unsurely.

"Awww," he whined, looking very broken hearted. "But we could dress our kids up as them! And I could be Willy Wonka!" he said, thinking the plan was

actually fool proof.

"And what about me?" Marge asked, a little disturbed.

"Uh, you could be a monster that lives in the chocolate river," her husband said faintly.

"Mmmm." she growled.

And so the adventure continues, the Simpsons deciding to open up a chocolate factory. Don't forget to still R&R.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch. 6

Now the Simpsons sat in the family car, on their way to open a buisness. "We are calliing it, the Simpson's and Son Chocolate Factory!" Homer exclaimed, now

entering a parking lot. Pulling in, the family got out and sat in a small room, accompanied by a desk, and a man with a ponytail behind it talking on the phone. "Yes Mrs.

Smith...I have some people waiting on me...Yeah? Well, you're...a fat lady who stuffs her face with pancakes! PIGGY!" he retorted immaturely and hung up.

Smiling and folding his hands, he welcomed the Simpsons to sit down. "Now I understand you want to open a buisness?" he asked.

"Yes, that's correct," Marge answered.

"And what will it be called?" he inquired, shuffling some papers.

"Homer's all you can eat buffet!" Homer piped in, getting really excited and running around the room, with a little habit of drooling. "There will be bacon,

sausage, donuts, chocolate, beer, hotdogs...mmm..." he trailed off, falling to the floor with drool falling out of the side of his mouth.

"Uh...no. We will be calling it the Simpson's and Son Chocolate Factory..." Marge explained, now embarrassed.

"Oh, that's a wonderful name," the man agrreed and stacked some papers in front of her. "Just sign these and you'll be on your way."

"Mmm, okay," she said unsurely and so she signed, paper after paper.

Hours later...

"Woo-hoo!" Homer exclaimed, running in the factory and dancing around. "I've got chocolate and chocolate galoreeee! There's the white and the dark,

some with peanuts and glut, whatever the hell glut might beeee! And so we have opened a factory! A factory! Yes a factory! And so we have opened a

factoryyyyy! In hope that I will get paid for eatingggg, and the people will be happy tooo! For we will be happy and satisfactorily eating and drinking the chocolate

that comes and goes! Comes and goes! Comes and goes! But here there will be no chocolate that gooessss, only in you're stomach that will make us so rich!" he

yelled and slid acroos the floor. "weee!" he yelled, but it soon came panic when he saw he was going to fall into the river. "no! Ahhh!" and so he fell in the river,

sputtering and coughing. "Help! Help!" he called, and the rest of the family hurried to his rescue.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7

Screaming and filled with panic, Marge rushed over to her drowning husband. "Here! Grab my hand!" she instructed. Homer, still trying to keep afloat, didn't

understand and thought she said "Go eat ham".

"But why must I eat ham? How will that help?" he asked while splashing around.

"No! GRAB MY HAND!" Unfortunately, it was too late, and Homer was pulled under. He was then brought inside a tube and became stuck.

"Oh no! Homie!" his wife cried, wondering how in the world he was to get out.

The fat man stuck in the tube started to whimper. "Marge! Help!"

"I'm trying!" she called and looked around for her kids. "Kids! Come here! You're father's stuck in a tube!" she exclaimed, but saw them on the ground,

fattened and chocolate dribbling out of their mouths. Sighing she ran around the factory, calling for help hysterically, no one in sight. Returning to the disasterous scene,

she started to weep, not knowing what else to do. "Oh Homey!" she cried with grief, not bearing to look at her stuck husband.

Seeing Marge cry was the worst ever to witness, and Homer started to really break down. "Oh Marge! I'm so sorry I thought of such a stupid idea and that

I donated that lung! STUPID FLANDERS!" he yelled, getting angry and starting to squirm.

"Homey..." Marge said over and over again.

Suddenly, Homer was sucked up further into the tube and was brought into another room of their factory.

"What the hell?" he asked, being carried out of the tube and onto a conveyer belt. He immediately rolled off and was able to stand on solid ground again. He

sighed with relief and rushed back over to his wife. "Marge! I'm okay!"

"OH HOMEY!" she exclaimed, falling into his arms and crying. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

And so, we leave here, the Simpsons having successfully starting their own business. Keep those reviews coming!


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